I love my husband....

I don't think I mention this enough, I know I tell him every day several times a day but I don't think I tell other people enough. My husband is the best partner a girl could ask for, he is my tall dark haired prince that I always dreamed of. This man is smart, funny, witty, has an awesome family, a heart of gold, and never ceases to amaze me. Seldom is there a positive in the battle of infertility but the one or two that happen to come from this horrible adventure is the fact that I know our relationship is stronger because of it. Not that I think the wonderful relationship my friends have with their husbands is any less I just feel as though we have that one little extra tight bond and am grateful for that. I love that we can walk this road as a team and bounce ideas off eachother and know that the end result will be because WE chose it. For whatever reason this is our path and while it hurts and it's hard I don't think I would change it.

I love my funny man.....

And the story begins....again

At least that's kind of how I feel, I feel like we are starting all over and this is the begining. I just hope at the end of this journey there is a little one to some day share this story with.

This day has been a roller coaster of sorts. This morning before our first RE appointment I was nervous, more nervous than I get going for a job interview. I actually felt the same way I felt two and a half years ago when I stopped taking the pill....the oh my gosh are we really doing this what if it works what if we have a baby. Such a strange fear now considering we have been fighting for this for so long now.

As you know Matt and I had our first RE appointment today, it went well and I LOVE our doctor he was compassionate, knowledgeable, and very helpful, a perfect fit for us. I'm overwhelmed but hopeful. Matt and I will spend the better part of this weekend talking and deciding if to move on and if we do how quickly we will move along with this.

Basically with our age (we aren't old but we aren't young anymore), my "extreme endo", one ovary/tube, and Matt's low motility our doctor wants us to move directly to (IVF) with ICSI. I have to say honestly I wasn't prepared for that but he explained with our situation doing IUI using clomid we have a 5-6% chance, with IUI and injectibles a 15-16% chance and with IVF it's a 50%. IVF isn't easy, cheap, or a guarantee but apparently this is our chance at a family.

This whole 2 1/2 year process has been extremely draining not only on my emotional well being but on us as a couple. Our goal is to do what we can but come 2010 wherever we stand we will close this door in our life.

I really think I'm just in shock right now and like I said overwhelmed....I need a glass of wine and time to sit and absorb. Thanks for listening.

1 day and counting

Tomorrow is our big First RE visit!! I'm actually excited about it, don't get me wrong I hate that we are in this situation but I'm done dragging my feat and ready to start running for that finish line. With this I also think my blogging will become a little more regular because I'll finally have more updates than the typical "AF came didn't work this month" crap. DH and I had a good little discussion and we will tell that Dr. that we want to be proactive and aggressive because at the end of this year we are done, let's just hope that a done because we are pregnant kind of done.