Well we had it tonight, we planned on waiting a couple weeks but I broke down and it needed to happen. We decided a few months ago that October would be our D-month (discussion). We have hit the two year trying mark. Matt is perfectly happy just "treading water" and I love that quality in him, it helps keep me sane. Unfortunately after two years of "treading" I'm done and need to move on to our next step. We talked long, hard, and got all of our feelings out there on the table.
I am at a roadblock right now, I don't want to do drugs/treatment I don't like taking asprin let alone hormonal changing medications. But I feel that if I don't then I'm giving up and I'm not good at quiting. Matt and I discussed our feelings, he's along for the ride and I'm saying that in the best way, Matt is by my side no matter what. So long story short we are making an appointment with an RE, I want to walk in knowing what we know (my one ovary/tube matched with Matt's sub part SA results) about us and tell them to give it to us straight. What will it take, what are our possible steps knowing there are no guarantees. We will go home with that sit down and decide how much of that we want to do and write out a time line. I know you can't "time line" a baby but I'm a time line person, I need a drop dead date to know where we stop. This is where Matt's feelings are strong, if we get to this point and still no child we will step back completely. Take 3, 6, 12 months however long it takes but we will take time, I will seek counseling to help grieve not having a biological child, we will make sure both of us are in a good healthy state of mind and at that point start pursuing adoption.
It's amazing how this little BIG talk we had truly helps my state of mind and my heart. I'm not giving up on a bilogical child yet but I know in my heart somehow someway we will have our family.