Monday, January 12, 2009

Roller Coaster.....going down



How can one person go from being so optimistic to completely crushed and depressed within 12 days....this can't be healthy. I want that optimism back I had in my last post. I had a glimpse of hope this weekend that I may actually be pregnant, why the hell after two years it would actually happen now without any help who knows but I let myself hope. I know we all go through that monthly but this one was the closest I have ever felt, man I'm a crazy person. I'm putting hope down as a four letter bad word right in there with the other high scale bad words. When I hear stories of people doing bad I always say karma will catch up with them, well this morning on my drive in to work I began wondering is this karma getting back at me? If so what so horribly awful did I do? I'm not saying I'm an absolute angel and have never wronged anyone but I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy. I see some retail therapy coming during lunch today....

I did finish reading Waiting for Daisy by Peggy Orenstein last night, I need to collect my thoughts but I'll post a review of the book shortly.


1 comments:

Amber D. said...

I have been there with both... the waiting and hoping thinking that this might be the month and the wondering what I did wrong to deserve this. Was it that I cheated on a math test in 7th grade, dated a loser boyfriend in HS, gossiped about someone? I have questioned everything that I might have done. It is so hard when there is no explanation for why we have to face the difficulties we do that come so easy for others.