Not giving up

It's amazing what a kick ass workout, a good conversation with my fabulous husband, and a great nights sleep will do for a couple of broken hearts.

I'm not ready to give up, my heart just isn't ready. Going into our IVF we said that if it came up negative we would call this the end of our journey and move on with our life. Once we made that decision I felt so much relief knowing there was an end in site. What we didn't plan on was the fact we would have three beautiful (1 "good" 2 "excellent" quality) embies make it to freeze. We have been grieving as though we are done but honestly knowing we have three frozen is constantly in the back of our minds. Matt has been such a rock and is so helpful in talking me through all of this, expressing his thoughts concerns and giving me time to express mine. Last night while I was in the darkest of dark places we had a great conversation and got all this on the table. I wanted to dive right back in and do an FET while I'm still numb he wants us to wait so we can both get over this hurdle before leaping the next one. We went to bed happy and content that we laid it out there, I woke up this morning seeing his point of view on waiting. SO...I'm thinking this fall/winter we'll try for our FET. This will give us the summer to buy a house, have fun, relax, get in shape, and enjoy some cold beers.

I made our follow up appointment this morning so we can sit down with our doctor and see what he has to say and what he suggests. I know just because I feel great this morning the dark times/days won't come back but I'm going to take advantage of this good feeling and get some stuff done.